To Carpool or Not to Carpool

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Since I have less than two weeks left of work before the baby comes, I thought it might be fun if Ryan and I carpooled on our way to work. Who wouldn't want to spend an extra 40 minutes with me every day?? :) Ryan's work is about 40 minutes from our house and while he doesn't drive through downtown Indy to get to work it isn't what I would call incredibly out of his way to drop me off at my office.

So, Monday night I proposed the idea to him about how I thought it would be fun if we carpooled these last few days together. He agreed (hesitantly) and even when I asked him if he was sure he said yes.

On Tuesday morning we headed out together. The circumstances were less than ideal ... we were running a little late (due to Ryan's shoulder it takes him a bit longer to get ready in the morning) and it was raining which made traffic worse. But, we headed out nonetheless and made our way downtown. The ride to work was great (at least I thought so) as the conversation was fun - mostly dominated by me.

At the end of the day I was waiting at my desk for Ryan to call and tell me where he was. When I hadn't heard from him I decided to give him a call and see if he was close. His voicemail picked up and shortly after he called me back (I found out later he never realized I called). Anyway, he sounded slightly perturbed, but I thought perhaps he just had a bad afternoon. He said he would be there in about two minutes. I will admit I was a little late getting downstairs after being stopped by a woman on our floor asking about my due date, how was I feeling, etc.

When I got in the car I could tell Ryan was not happy and I quickly surmised that his attitude stemmed from the carpool. I asked him if he was frustrated and even when he answered no we both knew he was. After digging a little deeper I uncovered the following:

1. He had tried to call my cell phone to get a hold of me at the end of the day and I didn't answer (a common frustration of Ryan's). He thought I would have my cell phone handy and not be waiting at my desk for the call. (Not my fault.)
   
2. He was lamenting the fact that he missed his sports talk radio on the way TO work as well as the way HOME from work. A factor I had not considered when I suggested the carpool. (My fault.)
   
3. The rain had continued all day and all it caused was more traffic to hold us up on our way home. (No one's fault.)
   
4. The added 20 minutes to his commute due to the carpool was starting to wear on him. All he wanted was to be at home taking a nap. (Is a nap more important that quality time with your spouse?)
   
5. His routine was thrown off all day by the carpool and its implications. (No comment.)
   

When I asked him whey these things were not stated when the carpool was suggested he informed me that he wanted to try it because I was so excited. I truly thought that was very kind, but also not honest and explained to him that we could have saved ourselves the hassle of a sub par ride home that was turning quite sour. So I did what I had to do ... officially call the carpool off.

Upon arriving home (in silence) Ryan and I determined that perhaps we both could have communicated better about the carpool and maybe it wasn't the best idea. Ryan has offered to give it one more try to end things on an upswing, but I'm just not sure it is worth it. What I thought would make a fun last few memories pre-Baby Lambert turned into a not so fun experience that just had us both frustrated. Oh the joys of marriage!

While we may not carpool ever again, at least we have garnered a little more insight into our morning routines and how important that is for us both.